Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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