Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
