He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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