he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
