i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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