i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
