You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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