After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
