did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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