He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
