Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
