help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
