For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
