she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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