Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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