Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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