ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
