my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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