He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
