i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
