i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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