on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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