I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How does one acquire holy water?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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