so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize