Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
