I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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