what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
