4 words: hood of his car
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
