In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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