Four minutes until I can fart!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
