i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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