Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
