Kareoke will never be a sober sport
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
