And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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