My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
