I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
