I will die if light touches me.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
