how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
