There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
