My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
