even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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