I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
