so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
