i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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