The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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