spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
