Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
