By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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