i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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