I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
