Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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